16 Days of Activism against Gender Based Violence on Women and Girls

The campaign on the 16 days of activism against Gender-Based Violence on Women and Girls is celebrated from the 25 of November, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women to 10 December, Human Rights Day. The international campaign is aimed at eliminating all forms of violence instigated against women and girls.

This year, the theme for the campaign is Orange the World: #HearMeToo. This gives the opportunity to all survivors, activists, policy makers and partners to voice out the injustices instigated on women and girls. Globally, 35 per cent of women have experienced either physical or intimate sexual violence or sexual violence by a non-partner excluding sexual harassment. According to UNDOC (2016), adult women account for 51 per cent of trafficked persons globally. Women and girls together account for 71 per cent with girls representing three out of four trafficked children. According to UNICEF (2016), there are 650 million girls who were married before the age of 18. Majority of women who experience violence do not seek help, be it counselling or medication. The few who seek out for help, do it within the confinement of friends and family who may end up victimizing them. Rarely do women and girls reach out to formal institutions or the police either because of fear of the perpetrator or victimization by the public. The lack of knowledge of the existing laws by women and girls leave them so vulnerable.

Orange is the theme colour of the campaign. The colour is so bright and optimistic, orange represents a future that is free from violence against women and girls.

Eliminating gender-based violence will help to realize Agenda 2063 aspiration seven, which sets to achieve an Africa whose development is people-driven, relying on the potential of African people, especially its women and youth, and caring for children.  We can all participate in the campaign by reporting when violence occurs, supporting women and girls who have experienced violence, become an activist and speak out on the injustices against women and girls. Let us raise the boy child to respect women and girls, teach our girls to speak out and raise awareness of the policies available on gender-based violence. Let this campaign be the opportunity to all to support women and girls to have an environment that is free from violence.

International Men’s Day

International Men’s Day is celebrated annually on the 19th of November. International Men’s Days focuses on raising awareness on discrimination and men’s health. It also highlights the role that the men play in the society, impacting positively their families, the communities and the world. The month of November is considered a masculine month to be able to celebrate the impact that the men have and them being a role model to the society. The theme for International Men's Day this year is Positive Male Role Models. International Men’s Day corresponds with Movember where men grow their facial hair especially the moustache to raise awareness on men’s mental health, suicide prevention and prostate cancer.

International Men’s Day is rarely celebrated or maybe not so many people know about it. Men have been raised to be ‘macho’, to be overly aggressive, to be self-reliant, not showing emotions and be able to provide, protect and defend their families. In recent incidents, the percentage of men committing suicide increases day by day. Today I encourage all the men out there, it is normal to feel pain, it is normal to cry, to be hurt, to want to be loved, and there is no shame in it.

Celebrating this day, focusing on the theme: Positive Role Models, men play a very critical role in society. Men play a key role in achieving gender equality. Positive masculinity builds the understanding of the need to have gender equality and dismantle patriarchy. They come first when it comes to ending violence against women and girls. Men bring a sense of security in society. They are providers in our normal family settings. The men who are out their day and night to provide for their families, to ensure their families are well taken care of (immediate and extended). Men also play the key role of fatherly figure and advisors to the society. I appreciate the ‘single dads’ who raise families on their own. Men play the role of mentorship in the society. Mentoring their children, supporting them through education, help them define their career paths, supporting them on start-up businesses and what is expected of them by the society.

Recognizing the efforts and the achievements of men, this year men are encouraged to teach the young boys to be responsible and be role models in future. I appreciate the men who take the courage to speak out about what they are going through, being able to battle sickness and still manage to put the family together, those who have experienced gender-based violence. Everything that the men have been through, the contribution, the sacrifice and your voice, you are appreciated.

The misconception of Physical Representation of Women

Having women at the top leadership positions or rather women at high-level positions receiving awards carries with it the misconception that it relates to women empowerment. That is not entirely true. I am a woman person, every other time of the day I will support the women in my life, their business, their campaigns, initiatives, basically positive initiatives led by women.

Women representatives positions in Kenya were created to help fuel and achieve the 2/3 gender rule or the 30 procurement representation of women at the parliament. I would not deny that there are women in the positions that have made quite great positive changes. But my concern is, they were elected to those positions to represent the needs of women which I see less often. I got struck by the two women representatives who encouraged ladies to get into polygamous marriages or they will end up being single. Polygamous relationships do work, but women should not be forced to becoming second wives if they do not want to. Just to highlight, gender issues are totally different from relationship issues.

Media has been one of the greatest obstacles to gender equality. The shows that air on Saturday evening that advises women on how they are to treat their husbands. When a man gets home, I am expected to get off his shoes, the socks, coat, massage his feet prepare his bath, and have his food ready. Do not get me wrong, I would definitely do this for my husband, but it is not going to be a condition for our marriage to work. I consider it as spicing it up. Now, this is an interesting line and thinking I should practice it when I get married. None of all this falls under the campaigns of gender equality, it does not play any critical role in achieving women empowerment, none of this gets women into decision making positions. These are relationship issues that should be solved between the said couple or they can visit a marriage counsellor.

Women representatives in Kenya ought to do what they promised the Kenyan citizens they will do when they get into office. The one-day appearances during International Women's Day, Menstruation Day, International Women's Day, and 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence. This should be a twenty-four-hour clock to cater for the women, youth, and children at the county level. Let us engage the women at our counties, get them jobs, let them have training that falls within their interests, understand their different needs. At this point, it is difficult to evaluate the impact that has been brought by the women representatives since they got into office. And I do appreciate a few who really work hard to elevate the levels of the women at their counties.  The physical representation of women at panels and decision-making levels do not translate to gender equality nor women empowerment. We have men who are gender advocates, feminist and they truly represent the needs of women.

Let's Talk Dowry

Growing us as a staunch Christian, I know very well what is expected of a noble wife, that which Proverbs chapter 31 describes, ‘a wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies’ Proverbs 31:10.

Discipline was key, I learned what is expected of me by the society and especially how to ‘behave’ myself when I get married? In my life of courtship, I met one guy who never believed in wedding ceremonies, let alone paying the bride price. His idea was for me to move into his house and we ‘make it work’. I never got to respond to this statement and at the end of it all, he said I am a very complicated individual (truth be told, everyone says am complicated, and I think I am).

This got me thinking. For a start let us get some words right. More than often people confuse the meaning of bride price and dowry.

Bride price or bridewealth is money that is paid by the groom to the bride’s family at the time of marriage and Dowry is money paid by the bride to the groom’s family at the time of marriage or wealth transferred to the husband’s family.

Bride price is one of the beautiful traditions that is still practiced today in many parts of the world despite civilization. It is seen as a form of bonding between the bride’s and the groom’s family, it acts as a form of appreciation by the groom’s family to the bride’s family for taking care of the bride. It also shows commitment by the groom to having the lady as his wife.

In Kenya, the amount of bride price expected from the man varies with different situations including; virginity (it is higher if the lady is a virgin), social status (lady coming from a wealthy family increases the amount of bride price), level of education (woe unto the man who marries the lady with masters or PhD and a fat salary). Men give up on the women they truly love because they cannot afford to pay the bride price, others resort to cohabiting or unplanned pregnancies obliging the families to agree with them being married. People have gotten in debt just to offset the bride price which entangles them in poverty.

Bride price has for a long time been seen as a factor in instigating gender inequality. It perpetuates Gender-Based Violence in marriages. Some of my male friends say the amount of money they spend on the bride price and the wedding is like purchasing the lady and it gives them the ‘right’ to own the lady. It automatically reduces the status of the woman in marriage, her decision making power, her Sexual, Reproductive and Health Rights not to mention their financial status. There are ladies that undergo virginity tests, they are forced to get married to men they do not love as long as they can pay good dowry price. Women have had to stay in violent relationships because their families cannot afford to pay back the bride price.  The fact is payment of bride price can lead to poverty, the debt that most people get into, and have to form committees.  Bride price is used to gauge the financial stability of their future son in law. The man is expected to have a car, a house, bring bank statements and all. In my community, bulls have just to be part of the bride price regardless of how much money the man is offering. Parents use bride price to extort money from the groom that has presented the women as property to bought.

In communities that pay dowry, it is considered as a form of protection of the women to avoid being taken advantage of. Dowry is considered as a token to the young couple as they start their marriage, it buffers the lady in case of the husband’s death or during divorce. Dowry acts as a form of security or form of inheritance that is to be divided among the children.

What would happen if our society considers the line of dowry payment instead of bride price? Will it reduce the violence experience in marriages? Will it reduce monetizing marriages and the pressure of marrying rich men? Will it allow the women to make decisions about their lives without the permission of their husbands?

Bride price ought to be a good culture that should be appreciated rather than being used as a money making business.

By: Nyabena Susan

The Silenced Gender

Masculinity is a social construct, it defines the roles, attributes, and behaviors that are expected of boys and men. Masculinity varies with the different culture and traditions. Men and boys are expected to be patriarchal, dominant, and aggressive. In some cultures, boys undergo rituals that initiate them into manhood. In Africa, the boys undergo circumcision, removal of the lower teeth, and they are not “man enough” when they cry which shows signs of weakness.

Are our men allowed to express themselves? Are they allowed to be human? Are they allowed to have emotions and feelings? To feel stressed? To want to quit?  How should they relate to the idea of being "man enough", the pressure of them conforming to the traditional masculine norms that denote that men are to be aggressive, violent, not expressing themselves? It does not mean that being a man is bad and it does not mean when a man portrays traits that are associated with feminine traits makes them less of a man.

Men who express themselves have struggled with being viewed as homosexuals. Gender roles and societal expectation have always been linked to alcoholism. I am a gender advocate, I support all the vulnerable groups and in my article Defining Gender; Demystifying Gender I highlight that gender is situational. Their choice of career; their hobbies, the kind of people they choose to engage in are all determined by the society.

My feminist friends say that masculinity is toxic. There is positive and toxic masculinity as well as recent debate on feminism being toxic (a topic for another day), and all this runs down to how we bring up our children. There is a trending video on social media of a boy being told by his father to stop crying and man up. Manning up does not mean that one is not allowed to express their feelings, on the contrary, they should be able to get comfortable with who they really are in whatever situation without losing themselves to societal expectations. Boys should be allowed to talk about their feelings, to engage in activities that make them comfortable, they should be able to fail without the society judging them, they can be weak, and they can be broken.

Toxic masculinity comes from the feminist ideology of the male behavior that is usually patriarchal and fails to realize the biological differences and the traditional gender roles. The idea that masculinity is opposing feminism should stop. Feminism and masculinity should complement each other. Gender equality should not be a conflict between the women and men, rather it should be partnerships as it benefits both to have a society that is gender equal. Boys should be brought up to respect their sisters, mothers, and aunts as girls should be taught to respect the boys too.

Feminism and Gender Equality

There always lies a thin line between gender equality and feminism. Feminist advocates for the realization of Women’s Rights and Gender Advocates on Human Rights and Gender Equality.

Gender equality refers to the opportunities that are available for both women and men to have access to and control of social, economic and political resources. Feminism, on the other hand, focuses on freedom and equal rights of women. Most importantly both feminism and gender equality aims at the realization of Human Rights.

Feminist believe that women are always treated unfairly by the society, their freedom denied and their rights violated. This is particularly true, women for a long time have been disproportionately marginalized in our societies. This is either due to culture, patriarchy, harmful practices, and religion. Feminism has evolved in three waves. The first wave was during the 19th century and early 20th century that focused on women’s suffrage (women’s right to vote), women education and labor conditions. The second wave was from the early 1960s through the late 1980s which fought against cultural inequalities that perpetuate discrimination and gave birth to the women liberation’s movement. The third wave started in the early 1990s after what was perceived as the failure of the second wave. The issues addressed were racial discrimination and involvement of the marginalized poor women. The feminist acknowledged that they have different needs and concerns and that they should be united to a common opposition to gender and oppression. The fourth wave of feminism emerged in 2008 which was formed around technology.

The waves of feminism pioneered the Women in Development (WID) approach focused on integrating women in the workplace and improve their standards of living. It faced criticisms for viewing women as homogenous and not considering women from developed worlds. This led to Women and Development (WAD) approach which focused on the relationship between patriarchy and capitalism. Then came Gender and Development (GAD) that feminist had a realization that unequal representation of sexes hinders their development and that men play an important role to realize gender equality.

Often than not Feminist have the view that Gender Advocates do not give attention to the women’s needs and concerns when they are developing policies and implementing them. And for this I will forever echo, gender is situational, women and men are all vulnerable, only differentiated by the situations.

I was listening to a gender forum on dismantling patriarchy, from the audience, a man identified himself as a male feminist, sometimes they feel not welcomed and they do not know how better they could help. Another one said he is more than happy to be there and would love to know more on the feminist campaigns. The response from the audience and the panelist who were women just left me in a state of awe. The first man got a response that women do not have time to make them feel at home and that he should find his purpose as he comes around the issues that surround women inequality. Pause! That was a moment of silence! The other response from the audience, the men were told they are not even invited to participate in issues that involve women. Another moment of silence! Thinking about these two gentlemen, how they felt discouraged to think that they cannot participate in women issues just by being men.

I always appreciate people’s opinion, thanks to understanding cultural diversity. From this situation, I would like to make some highlights to our feminists out there. I support Women’s Rights and my friend calls us Gender Advocates. A great of a percentage of feminist use the approach of the first wave of feminism and the WID approach that excludes the men. Men play a vital role in realizing Gender Equality and Women’s Rights. As women, we want to be represented everywhere and our needs to be taken into consideration, being able to break the glass ceiling and get up from the sticky floors and reach up to the men, we need the escalator from the men. The positions that we want to occupy are currently occupied by men unless we are planning a coup d’ Etat. I am very aware of the notion that women are done from asking and they come and take. At the end of the day, for us to sustain our positions we need to have the support from the men.

Feminism has evolved and we have gender equality. Gender covers both women and men and the vulnerable groups; children, refugees, persons with special needs to avoid violation of their rights. Gender equality ensures the realization of Women’s Rights, Children’s Rights, Refugees Rights and persons with special needs rights. So for our feminist and gender advocate, men play a critical role when it comes to the realization of gender equality, sidelining and locking them out of our conversations makes us lose a great deal.

Women let’s make disciples out of our men, engage them on Women’s rights and Gender Equality and send them forth to the world to preach and make more disciples.

By: Nyabena Susan

Comprehensive Sexual education; part 2

Comprehensive Sexual Education (CSE) as reflected in Comprehensive Sexual Education; Part 1, gives the youth and adolescents the exposure to Life skills (decision-making skills, communication skills and the development of positive attitudes) that places them at a better place to decide on matters about sex. CSE gives the opportunity to the young people to explore their environment, cultures, and values. It helps them understand the society, family and their own values that build up their self-esteem, self-efficacy and their responsibilities to the society. Not forgetting the key role that CSE plays in building the relationship and interpersonal skills of the young people which equips them with the ability to be responsible for their sexual activities and take into consideration healthy measures. CSE as a program not only focuses on helping the young people understand, explore and appreciate their sexuality, but also they get to learn about their rights and gender equality.

According to Kenyan Demographic and Health Survey (KDHS) 2014, it is reported that 41% of single males and 21% of single females aged 15 to 24 are sexually active. In our recent times, timely and accurate provision of sexual education to our teenagers and youths is fundamental with regards to their Sexual Reproductive and Health Rights (SRHR). Efforts should be made to different methods of teaching CSE that will allow the young people to have exposure to make better choices about their sexuality.

CSE has faced many barriers to be added in the Kenyan curriculum as it is viewed as a program that encourages the teenagers to engage in sexual activities at a tender age. The policies that are put in place has disadvantaged girls aged between 15 to 19 years that make it impossible for them to receive services of contraception and to cure or prevent Sexual Transmitted Diseases (STDs). A key focus is given to subjects that are examinable and Life Skills which is to cover CSE is not given much of a priority.

According to Guidelines for Comprehensive Sexuality Education, the key concepts, and topics of CSE include; 

1. Human Development; this concept discusses topics that include, the reproductive system, physical body changes, puberty, sexual orientation, gender identity. It helps the young people understand and appreciate their own body and understand their sexual development and experience.
2. Relationships; it involves relationships with families, friendship, love, romantic relationships and dating, marriage and lifetime, raising children. This concept equips the young people with information on developing and maintain meaningful relationships, how they can avoid destructive relationships and be able to make informed choices about the relationships they want to engage in and be also to express love and intimacy in the right ways.
3. Personal Skills; it focuses on values, decision-making, communication, assertiveness, negotiation, looking for help. This concept allows the young people to develop critical thinking skills, be able to take responsibility of their own behaviors that may involve sexual relations, learn how to be assertive and make decisions and also appreciate and live by their own values.
4. Sexual Behavior; sexuality throughout life, masturbation, shared sexual behavior, sexual abstinence, human sexual response, sexual fantasy, sexual dysfunction. Young people are able to enjoy their sexual feelings without necessarily working on them, they are able to enjoy relationships that are consensual and not destructive. It allows them to express their sexuality according to their values and be able to respect other people’s values. They are also able to differentiate between life-enhancing sexual behaviors and that which are harmful to themselves and those of others.
5. Sexual Health; this concept is about reproductive health, contraception, pregnancy and prenatal care, abortion, sexually transmitted diseases, HIV and AIDS, Gender and Sexual Based Violence (SGBV), violence, and harassment. This concept equips the young people with information that allows them to practice good health behaviors that include regular check-ups, effective use of contraception to avoid unwanted pregnancies and avoid contracting STIs and HIV. It also gives them skills on how to handle unwanted pregnancies and avoid sexual abuse.
6. Society and Culture;  the concept is about sexuality and society, gender roles, sexuality and the law, sexuality and religion, diversity, sexuality and the media, sexuality, and arts. The young people are equipped with enough information that they are able to educate others about sexuality, promote Sexual Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) and also understand the role and the impact of the society, family, school, and the media plays in sexual education.

Though having these concepts as key to teaching CSE in schools, the government and the teachers should ensure that the program is tailor-made to consider the different cultures and experiences of the young people and to assess their attitude on different topics. The curriculum should also consider the students with disabilities and special needs. This information introduced in the curriculum needs well-trained teachers that will influence the effectiveness for the programs. The teachers ought to be non-bias, culturally sensitive, and comfortable with the program, be able to create a safe and learning environment for the young people.

Equipping the young people with CSE improves their ability to implement what they have learned and use it to make better decisions when it comes to their SRHR. The responsibility does not only lie with the teachers but also on the involvement of parents and the community. Parents and guardians can support the programs by reviewing the CSE materials used in schools by teachers.

By: Nyabena Susan

Comprehensive Sexual Education; Part 1

Many of our young people today learn about sex in different ways and from various platforms. They learn from their parents, peers, teachers, pornographic sites and some at clinics and medical centers. In some cultures, people learn about sex education in preparation for marriage ceremonies and others during the initiation processes not forgetting the church that teaches the youth about the need for abstinence.

Sex education is one area that the society shy away from engaging in, that leaves most youth gullible and vulnerable to matter regarding sex. When sex is discussed, the emphasis is on HIV/AIDS, and little consideration is given to other consequences of sex like contracting Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancies.

According to World Health Organization (WHO), Sexuality education involves learning of the cognitive, emotional, social, interactive and physical aspects of sexuality. It focuses on supporting and protecting sexual development. It aims at equipping children and young people with information, skills and positive attitudes to understand and enjoy their sexuality, have safe and fulfilling relationships and takes responsibility for their own and other people’s sexual health and well-being.

Comprehensive sexual education gives the youth and adolescents the exposure to Life skills (decision-making skills, communication skills and the development of positive attitudes) that places them at a better place to decide on matters about sex.

In Kenya, children are brought up in different environs and taught about sex in different ways, and when they reach adolescence they tend to make decisions according to what they know.

Parents more often than not do not discuss this topic with the adolescents and youths. When I was growing up, the only thing I learned about sex from my parents is that I can contract HIV/AIDS or get pregnant and that will be the end of life. Many adolescents face these situations. Later when they are pregnant they undergo an illegal abortion that places their health at greater risk. Other than that, in some families, it is difficult for the adolescents and youths to talk about their sexual relations. Doctors and nurses handle cases of adolescents who have contracted HIV/AIDS and STIs discreetly for the fear of reactions from the parents and the adolescents.

In families that are bound by customary laws (Masaai, Samburu, Kisii, Pokot), the adolescent’s knowledge of sex revolves around topics on giving birth and taking care of their husband’s needs. They undergo the initiation process (Female Genital Mutilation/Cut), they are often isolated from the community and taught of what is expected of them by their husbands and the community. Not at any point are they taught about their rights in marriage nor family planning.

I appreciate the efforts made by the school curriculum to teach adolescents and youth about the sexual reproductive system. They have the opportunity to understand what is happening to their bodies but lack the sector on how the adolescents and youths can handle the different emotions that come with puberty. Life skills a program offered in schools try to tackle the questions that go unanswered in class. Unfortunately, Life skills as a subject is not examinable and teachers give preferences to subjects that are examined.

The church also plays an important role when it comes to sex education. Churches emphasize more on abstinence. As the Bible highlights the need for us to be chaste and avoid sexual immorality for our bodies are the temple of God. This is one lesson I carried through all my life. But to take a step back, young Christians are never taught how to handle the temptations that come with their body changes, the emotions and feeling they tend to feel inside. Many would engage in sexual activity and not talk about it with fear of discrimination. Also, they are afraid to be banned from church or even lose their leadership positions. In many churches, when female youths get pregnant, they are treated as outcasts. People have the fear of interacting with them, other youths in the church are discouraged to engage them as they are seen as a bad influence and impure. I have seen many youths who got pregnant when they are young and vowed never to go back to church out of the treatment they got.

Hospitals and clinics have become sometimes the safest place that youths and adolescents turn to, they get information from hospitals, and they receive materials that tackle issues on sex education. But there is still more to be done, I remember one day I visited a VCT center with my friends, we were all there seated undergoing the pre-counseling session, then the counselor posed a question that got all of us wondering “when last did you get tested?’ we all replied “a year ago”. We always went for HIV test together. Then she responded “then what is the need of coming back, unless you have multiple sex partners!” to this date, I sometimes feel discriminated just to walk to a VCT for the test. Needless to say, sex is regarded as the main form to contracting HIV/AIDS, there are still other forms that youths can contract HIV/AIDS that need to be highlighted when being offered these services.

Peers and pornographic sites have played the major role in filling the gap of information that the adolescents do not get from their parents, teachers, church and the medical center. Whatever they watch and what they hear from the peers they put it into practice and most times just to prove that they are not left behind and they relate to matters concerning sex.

By: Nyabena Susan

The Hidden Crime – Violence Against Men

Violence against men one topic the society avoids to talk about, it is usually done in hush voices if the need arises. The shame and the perception that men cannot be vulnerable or have their rights violated is one thing I cannot come to terms with. In the search for research and academic papers to contribute on this topic, more topics related to violence against women came up despite the fact that I typed ‘men’ as my first word in the search. The upcoming campaigns to empower the boy child is one that cannot go unnoticed, not only an aspect that they are being left behind but also as a realization for the women that men play an important role to achieve Gender Equality and Women Empowerment (GEWE). According to the World Health Organization (WHO), globally men have a shorter life expectancy than women which is 69.1 years.

“You are not man enough’; a statement vetted out by the society to men when they do not accord to the prescribed perceptions, it degrades their masculinity and their need to keep the ‘macho’ has made men not to consider themselves as victims of violence.

Women and girls are particularly vulnerable but men also face violence. Men endure physical, emotional, psychological, sexual and domestic violence.

Physical violence is inflicted on one’s body that includes pinching, slapping, kicking, and attacks with objects. Career choices have been a great contributor to physical violence to men. Men who work in the army or as peacekeepers, in mass killings, they are often targeted and killed. Forced constriction is also an example of physical violence that men face.

Domestic violence occurs in intimate relationships such as marriages, families, cohabiting relationships and dating. Men have been battered by their wives or girlfriends and coaxed into sexual relations. They experienced physical violence that targets their private parts like chopping off their penises; repeated incidences that was experienced in Kenya, being hit or threatened by weapons ranging from knives to guns.

Psychological and emotional violence involves controlling and manipulating a person to feel inferior, worthless and useless. Men experience psychological and emotional violence that is manifested in verbal abuse, threats, extreme possessiveness, flirting or forceful cutting ties with parents and friends, blackmail for financial support leads to the destruction of personal and valuable items, constantly jeopardizing their work. Suicidal and murder threats, abuse of the children in relationships or after separation to punish or get back at men have great emotional and psychological effect. It can trickle down to court orders barring the men from having shared custody or visitations. Women can also be violent to female friends and relatives of the man. There are also cases of women stealing sperms from men to get pregnant and women being unfaithful in relationships and marriages.

Sexual violence involves forcing someone to participate in a sexual activity without their consent. It also includes rape between married couples. Sexual violence is associated more with women and girls being raped or losing their jobs if the refuse sexual advances but men also are vulnerable to sexual violence.

Boys are more prone to sexual violence than male adults. It can occur at home and even at schools. It ranges from being touched on their private parts, made to watch pornography, masturbation and sometimes rape. In armed conflict and in prison, men experience sexual violence such as rape and castration that is caused by fellow men as a way to instill fear and demoralize them. Men also get blackmailed or framed in rape cases.

The fact still remains, women are more vulnerable to violence, but men suffer from violence too. There is evidence that men are battered in their relationships but always assumed they cannot be victims of violence. Fewer resources are at the disposal of men to report and get the help leaving them to suffer in silence. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), there are increased rates of men committing suicide and having mental health issues.

The cry to empower the boy child is yet to be heard and discussed. The thirst for women to achieve equality should put into consideration the critical role that the men have. Men have found themselves in positions that women were 30 years ago with the commonality of ‘no one will believe you’ when they report their cases of violence.

Recommendations

• Outreach and awareness activities within Governments, Religious Institutions, Civil Society Organizations (CSOs) and Community Based Organizations (CBOs) that would sensitize the society about violence against men
• Gender campaigns should involve both women and men to realize Gender Equality and Women Empowerment (GEWE) to ensure that too much power is not given to any gender that would oppress the other
• The media should work in demystifying the belief of men being the perpetrators and have discussions that men can be victims of violence and that women are capable of initiating violence

    By: Nyabena Susan

The Rural Woman

Defining a rural woman poses a challenge, is it out of her physical residence or the circumstances she finds herself in. I engaged with an audience at the Quora platform and I got different responses. A rural woman is mostly seen as a person who comes from the rural areas.  There are other aspects of the behavior where a rural woman is considered to work too hard to have a fantasy life. The perspective of a rural woman about the urban woman is that she has a flashy life, she is arrogant, proud, too outspoken and selfish. The inability of her to wrap her mind around the behavior of the urban woman is not only a culture shock but generates the name ‘rural woman’ or her being backward. The urban woman considers rural woman as being ‘polite and humble’, not being able to fend for herself or rather low levels of education or those in vocational training centers. She is considered to be rigid and not open minded, not fluent in English which is used as a yardstick. All these just boil down to stereotypes of rural women to be raw and unrefined.

A rural woman is marginalized by the stereotypes that surround her. Empowerment of rural woman heavily depends on agriculture as her source of income and food. She plays the biggest role in food nutrition and security. She, however, gets subjected to unpaid work as she is mostly engaged as a family worker. But there is more to a rural woman than just agriculture. 80% of the women contribute to agriculture, planting, weeding, and income is earned by the men. The legal and cultural constraints make it impossible for women to own land or participate at the decision-making level to influence how land is utilized. Not every other woman have the interests in farming. The obstacles surrounding her efforts to own land limits her ability to engage in cash crop farming as a source of income. Most of the capacity building and sensitization in the rural areas is done on topics related to agriculture.

A rural woman often picks up triple roles; productive, reproductive and community roles. She shields the heavy burden of reproductive and community roles. She spends her time, fetching water, getting and cooking food, caring for the sick and the old. Low literacy levels continue to create the gap between the urban and the rural woman not forgetting the poor infrastructure and public services offered and fewer opportunities that are available to them. A rural woman is always taken from the village to come and help in the urban areas in child rearing or to take care of the sick. If not the sick are taken to the village and another burden is added to her daily expected gender roles. The amount of time the rural woman spends on the reproductive and community roles sips away all the hope they would have had in either getting a formal education, vocational training or extension, and entrepreneurship training.

Rural women are not homogenous, their dependence on agriculture does not translate to all of them engaging in agricultural activities.

By: Nyabena Susan

International Women’s Day

International women’s day is here, crowning March as the month of women. This day is commemorated annually on the 8^th of March globally to celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievements realized by women. International Women’s Day was first celebrated on 19^th March 1911, which has realized great evolution, achievements and success for Women’s Rights globally.

The theme for 2018 is “The Time Is Now: Rural and Urban Activists Transforming Women’s Lives” with Ultra-Violet as the theme color.

As we approach the end of the African Women Decade (AWD), the themes given by the UN have allowed the government, international, regional and national organizations to implement the different themes.

The themes during the African Women’s Decade;

1.    2011: Equal Access to Education, Training and Science and Technology: Pathway to Decent Work for Women

2.    2012: Empower Rural Women, End Poverty, and Hunger

3.    2013: A Promise is a Promise “Time for Action to End Violence Against Women

4.    2014: Equality for Women is Progress for All

5.    2015: Empowering women, Empowering Humanity; Picture it!

6.    2016: Planet 50-50 by 2030; Step it up for Gender Equality

7.    2017: Women in the Changing Work of World: Planet 50-50 by 20130

8.    2018: Time is Now: Rural and Urban Activist Transforming Women’s Lives

Kenya has made efforts to implement the different themes of the year by having programs and initiatives. The article will focus on 4 main social thematic area that the Government of Kenya has implemented.

1.   Economic empowerment

Women have benefited greatly since the inception of Women Enterprise Fund in 2007 that has realized the disbursement of KES 8.3 million and the Uwezo Fund KES 5.1 million in 2013 according to President’s Delivery Unit. They have had opportunities and economic access to the funds as start-ups to their business. The ability to access funds having submitted their proposals and business ideas help to curb the challenge they face when in need of credit from the banks or micro-finance enterprises. There is still a gap at the implementation level and the impact of the funds to the women. The use of table banking and mobile banking has been a great avenue for the rural women to save and get credit being the solution of having collateral when using formal banking. The government also has the procurement program that facilitates the youth, women, and persons with special needs-owned enterprises to participate in government procurement. This was done through the implementation of the Presidential Directive that 30% of government procurement opportunities be set aside specifically for these enterprises. It is an Affirmative Action aimed at empowering youth, women, and persons with disability-owned enterprises by giving them more opportunities to do business with Government (President’s Delivery Unit).

Education enrollment and retaining of women and girls in schools has increased significantly and realized great transition of girls from primary to secondary to tertiary education through the Affirmative Action by reducing their entry points and girls. Having an increase in women and girls literacy levels places them on the platform to compete for resources. 

2.   Social Inclusion and Empowerment

The cash money transfer to the elderly, persons living with disability and orphans and vulnerable children has helped reduce the burden on women as caregivers. The money helps to facilitate access to different basic services for the vulnerable community.

Customary traditions and practices have reduced great. Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) has been legalized and anyone who perpetuates FGM is considered to violate Children’s Rights. Safe houses for young girls escaping from early marriages have helped to retain the girls in school.

3.   Political Inclusion

The Constitution of Kenya (2010) recognizes women’s social, economic, cultural and political rights in all institutions of governance including political party structures and other organs of decision making. It emphasizes on the two third gender principle in all appointive and elective positions and decision making positions to eliminate gender discrimination and inequality.

Representation of women in the parliament has reduced the gender inequality gap. At the Cabinet level, women hold 25.5 percent of the positions while 37 percent hold high-level positions in the judiciary, 34 percent Principal Secretary Positions.

Women’s Representative Potions has allowed women to identify gaps and issues of fellow women at the county levels and addressing them

4.   Health

Provision of free maternity services program in public hospitals has increased safe deliveries nationwide by skilled health providers. Beyond Zero Campaign by the First Lady H.E, Margaret Kenyatta made access to health services by the rural women. The NHIF expansion services also allow the free maternal services to be covered and give pre and post-natal services.

Women in Kenya should make efforts to embrace the opportunities, services, and resource made at their disposal for their development. The national and international instruments should be used to make the government accountable for the implementation of Women Rights.

I urge women to come out and participate fully economically, socially and politically. Advocating for women rights who are not willing to come upfront poses a challenge to implement the different policies and instruments.      

By: Nyabena Susan

                                             

Defining Gender; Demystifying Gender

Defining Gender

Key concepts

Gender refers to the socially constructed characteristics and attitudes that affect the relationships between women, men, girls, and boys that include the norms, roles etc. Gender determines ‘right’ from ‘wrong’ in a society; it influences career choices, employment opportunities that women and men decide to venture into and their relationships with society. The gender norms vary from one society to another.

Gender has always been misunderstood to be the promotion of women only, however, we should always remember that gender is both women and men and their access and control over resources.

Sex is the biological difference between women and men. This is mainly the physical factors that include the reproductive conditions or hormonal changes.

Gender equality; is the opportunities that are available for both women and men to have access to and control of social, economic and political resources.

Gender equity; is realizing the different needs of women and men, girls and boys and putting their preferences and interests into consideration in access to opportunities and resources. It puts into consideration the reality of women and men’s lives and ensures they have equal opportunities.

Gender mainstreaming; is the assessing the impacts of any projects, planned actions including legislation and programmes on women and men through all process from the planning stage to the implementation and reporting. Gender mainstreaming ensures the participation of women and men in all process of program implementation to ensure that all their needs are put into considerations and that inequality is not perpetuated.

Gender norms are beliefs and attitudes about women and men, girls and boys that are learned and passed from one generation to another. They vary from one society to another.

Gender roles are responsibilities that are ascribed to women and men at the household, community, and workplace of any given society.

Social Institutions that construct gender

Gender is constructed from the family to schools, religious institutions, state, and media. Gender construction emanates from our day to day interactions which defines what is expected, allowed, valued and culturally correct in the society which trickles down to gender relations and power.

Family and kinship is the first agent of socialization that greatly constructs gender. Children get ascribed to the different gender roles; a girl is expected to spend more time with the mother and the female relatives in the kitchen, cooking, fetching water and farming and venture into clerical work, customer care and cleaning services as their career options. They are to be timid, weak, and emotional and avoid any activities that place them in the public arena. Women being in private spaces limits their potential to participate in programs that benefit them. They believe they cannot hold any leadership positions nor are they allowed to participate in decision-making forum, the result is a big gap in women empowerment. Boys, on the other hand, are expected to be tough, not to express their feelings, act as warriors, and be out with their father and male relatives to provide for the family. There is a lot of pressure in men to provide for the family in our day of economic struggle, they are forced to engage in illegal activities just to provide for the family. Men have a shorter lifespan than women also due to the societal expectations for the provision of the family even when they are not capable.

Children spend more time in school with their teachers than their guardian and parents. School defines the gender roles and identity of children from playing and interacting with other children and care providers. Taking an example, when children are playing, it is deemed appropriate when the girls play together same with the boys, when the paradigm shift, there is an ‘excitement’ or ‘concern’ that will be directed to the girl reminding them to maintain their ascribed space. As children transit to higher learning institutions; boys are encouraged to take up mathematics and science-related courses, while girls are encouraged to take languages, social sciences, and humanities.

The state and political sphere construct gender by maintaining the status quo, the internal and external peace of the boundaries of the society. Most political parties will nominate men over women to represent them as flag bearers. Women get associated with the success of their marriages for them to be considered fit for political candidacy as compared to men. The lack of understanding of what gender is has made many politicians who are women to take up the roles with the notion that they have to be aggressive.

Media plays a key role in influencing gender roles and identities. The advertisements always have the men being the hero and venturing into careers that relate to sciences; a pilot, banker while women appear in advertisements on household items; kitchenware, acting as caregivers, not forgetting being depicted as sex tools in different movies or songs. This ends up shaping the reality, behavior, and expectation of their gender roles and career options they decide to venture into.

Religious and cultural institutions have also contributed to defining gender roles. Different churches have women serving as ushers as compared to men being pastors and priests. At Sunday school, a majority of the teachers are women as compared to men. Other institutions women are not allowed to worship together with the men, as they are seen to be ‘unclean’ due to their menstrual period.

Patriarchal systems develop from the gender roles that the children grow up into. The women tend to see themselves as inferior and not be able to participate in leadership roles or any decision-making sessions while on the other hand, boys pick up on roles that put them at the power level.

Mechanisms used for promoting gender equality and women’s empowerment

To achieve gender equality, we must recognize that gender is often SITUATIONAL, this means, and that anyone can be vulnerable depending on situations.

The different mechanism that has been used to promote gender include:

National and international legislation; these are policies that focus on the gaps that affect the vulnerable groups. They include; the Beijing Platform of Action, Convection on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), the African Union Gender Policy National Gender Policies.

Affirmative action; it is the protection of a vulnerable group from discrimination within a society. Women, youths, persons with special needs and refugees have benefited from affirmative action, by having more opportunities made accessible to them.

Gender platforms; that gives the vulnerable groups a voice, which leads to actions and enjoyment of their rights.

Note: Gender is women, men, boys and girls; refugees and persons with special needs. The Key is to move from a focus on DIFFERENCE to a focus on RELATIONS.

By: Nyabena Susan