Many of our young people today learn about sex in different ways and from various platforms. They learn from their parents, peers, teachers, pornographic sites and some at clinics and medical centers. In some cultures, people learn about sex education in preparation for marriage ceremonies and others during the initiation processes not forgetting the church that teaches the youth about the need for abstinence.
Sex education is one area that the society shy away from engaging in, that leaves most youth gullible and vulnerable to matter regarding sex. When sex is discussed, the emphasis is on HIV/AIDS, and little consideration is given to other consequences of sex like contracting Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancies.
According to World Health Organization (WHO), Sexuality education involves learning of the cognitive, emotional, social, interactive and physical aspects of sexuality. It focuses on supporting and protecting sexual development. It aims at equipping children and young people with information, skills and positive attitudes to understand and enjoy their sexuality, have safe and fulfilling relationships and takes responsibility for their own and other people’s sexual health and well-being.
Comprehensive sexual education gives the youth and adolescents the exposure to Life skills (decision-making skills, communication skills and the development of positive attitudes) that places them at a better place to decide on matters about sex.
In Kenya, children are brought up in different environs and taught about sex in different ways, and when they reach adolescence they tend to make decisions according to what they know.
Parents more often than not do not discuss this topic with the adolescents and youths. When I was growing up, the only thing I learned about sex from my parents is that I can contract HIV/AIDS or get pregnant and that will be the end of life. Many adolescents face these situations. Later when they are pregnant they undergo an illegal abortion that places their health at greater risk. Other than that, in some families, it is difficult for the adolescents and youths to talk about their sexual relations. Doctors and nurses handle cases of adolescents who have contracted HIV/AIDS and STIs discreetly for the fear of reactions from the parents and the adolescents.
In families that are bound by customary laws (Masaai, Samburu, Kisii, Pokot), the adolescent’s knowledge of sex revolves around topics on giving birth and taking care of their husband’s needs. They undergo the initiation process (Female Genital Mutilation/Cut), they are often isolated from the community and taught of what is expected of them by their husbands and the community. Not at any point are they taught about their rights in marriage nor family planning.
I appreciate the efforts made by the school curriculum to teach adolescents and youth about the sexual reproductive system. They have the opportunity to understand what is happening to their bodies but lack the sector on how the adolescents and youths can handle the different emotions that come with puberty. Life skills a program offered in schools try to tackle the questions that go unanswered in class. Unfortunately, Life skills as a subject is not examinable and teachers give preferences to subjects that are examined.
The church also plays an important role when it comes to sex education. Churches emphasize more on abstinence. As the Bible highlights the need for us to be chaste and avoid sexual immorality for our bodies are the temple of God. This is one lesson I carried through all my life. But to take a step back, young Christians are never taught how to handle the temptations that come with their body changes, the emotions and feeling they tend to feel inside. Many would engage in sexual activity and not talk about it with fear of discrimination. Also, they are afraid to be banned from church or even lose their leadership positions. In many churches, when female youths get pregnant, they are treated as outcasts. People have the fear of interacting with them, other youths in the church are discouraged to engage them as they are seen as a bad influence and impure. I have seen many youths who got pregnant when they are young and vowed never to go back to church out of the treatment they got.
Hospitals and clinics have become sometimes the safest place that youths and adolescents turn to, they get information from hospitals, and they receive materials that tackle issues on sex education. But there is still more to be done, I remember one day I visited a VCT center with my friends, we were all there seated undergoing the pre-counseling session, then the counselor posed a question that got all of us wondering “when last did you get tested?’ we all replied “a year ago”. We always went for HIV test together. Then she responded “then what is the need of coming back, unless you have multiple sex partners!” to this date, I sometimes feel discriminated just to walk to a VCT for the test. Needless to say, sex is regarded as the main form to contracting HIV/AIDS, there are still other forms that youths can contract HIV/AIDS that need to be highlighted when being offered these services.
Peers and pornographic sites have played the major role in filling the gap of information that the adolescents do not get from their parents, teachers, church and the medical center. Whatever they watch and what they hear from the peers they put it into practice and most times just to prove that they are not left behind and they relate to matters concerning sex.
By: Nyabena Susan
